Sparkle’s first route of the day was, Bee – (v diff). It’s an excellent route for inexperienced leaders, a straight corner crack – no possibility of going off route on some crazy exploratory traverse. I enjoyed seconding it, as the move in the middle I was sure was easy actually made me think about it. Excellent work!

Andy and Rosie joined us just before I reached Sparkle’s stance. I did a quick run-through on placing Cams and we headed to the bottom of the crag to say a quick hello before rushing off to look at Inverted V.

Looking was all we did, as a small queue was forming at the base. As we headed back I could see that there was a second finishing up Mississippi Buttress Direct so we rushed past a slightly bewildered Andy and Rosie in the opposite direction. When re got there it was clear that I’d been mistaken about the second – he was leading it. This wouldn’t have been so bad but for the small crowd of eager and expectant climbers vying for the next ascent. We didn’t stop to find the 45 min wait marker.

Top of V Diff chop route

Onwards. Heaven crack area was just discernable under the climbers swarming all over it. Nothing doing on Martello, Roundabout or Veranda buttresses. We made a beeline for friendly ole Dovers wall. Here too the climbers were out in strength though the lower grades were free. We arranged that as it was my lead I’d scoot up Dovers wall route 1 (severe) and then Sparkle would take Wing Buttress Gully (V diff).

I’ve climbed Dovers wall a few times and have always enjoyed it, this time was no exception, though my lack of care on the moves made me look slightly sloppy. Sparkle climbed the route in a much better style (maybe a challenging lead for next time). Next up was the Gully – it looked pretty cool to me but then we have both come to the conclusion I am probably a crack pervert anyway. Sparkle led off tentatively and backed down immediately – I illustrated the fine art of bridging by attempting to jam a crack on the left wall of the gully. Sparkle due acknowledged my idiocy and proceeded to climb it by wedging her entire body as deeply into the crack as humanly possible. This tactic had the advantage of upward progress but at the cost of freedom of movement and general climbing enjoyment.  By the time a halfway rest had been gained we had both established that Sparkle hadn’t been keen on the route on the first place and would never have attempted such a horrific chop route if I hadn’t forced her into it. I was also made aware (in no uncertain terms) that everything that was wrong with this route was my fault, and that if I continued to suggest dark, dank green putrid watercourses as suitable routes, words would be said.

By me.

Like ‘ouch’ and ‘Nooooo not the Camalot 4!!’